Depths Of Suffering

1 – A war, constantly against myself.
Can’t find ways to defend.
This demon inside, which has possessed.
Making me feel totally helpless.
When I starve; I feel like I’ve achieved a lot.
But certainly paid a very very high cost.
Contributing further to my own personal degrading loss.
The voices grow too loud in my head.
Stop ingesting & throw up whatever you’ve been fed.
No matter what I eat.
I can’t stand it even while being asleep.
I finally at least tried hard & ate.
But couldn’t stand the fact making myself feel full again.

2 – So I gave in to the voices inside of me.
Hoping for a change, new start to a new journey.
Even after fucking recovery.
Finding the demons back inside of me: hard to beat.
A new truth added toward a ruined destiny.
Go fuck yourself if you try to eat.
You bloody shit, remain absolutely guilty.
Without feeling kindness for yourself & sorry.
The voices keep yelling at me.
You’re a worthless pathetic freak.
Burning yourself slowly towards reality.

3 – Madness as you know, is a lot like gravity, all it takes is a little push.
Leaving inside of you a thorny bush.
A victim to disorders totally confused.
Insanity extended, functioned to maximum use.
Pain accumulates to rip open the wounds.
Severely broken down to self abuse.
Avoiding thoughts and feelings through being negligent towards the truth.
I have lost myself to a stranger; totally fooled.

4 – Severe measures.
Took under desperation.
Persistent hate continously bothers.
Inside the mind, lingering under.
Weakened to the point of fits & seizures.
Detrimental while in starvation period.
Loosing all controls on anxieties & fears.
Lying & cheating while in self denial.
Patient relapsing, potential death is near.
A silent slaughter, which no one would be able to hear.

Afraid of the voice.
That hides inside.

Dominated by an entity totally unknown.
No one ever finally comes to know.
To what exactly people do behind those doors.
It appears as if a virtual monster is in total control.

Written by :- P.S  (PATIENT Stan)

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