a secret desire to fulfill.
the deepest darkest hidden pill.
the flaws with the perfect will.
drowned in a void to nil.
so much frustration, so much fury.
a mind imposed to abuse on heavy duty.
A perfect illusion to beauty.
A bitter eroding reality.
Loosing controls on all systems that shivers.
Pervading yourself to a chaotic failure.
turning out from recovery to remain more sicker.
A lean towards death which will soon arrive much more quicker.
all intrusive thoughts
a depression war
Sickely fought
a long hectic job
in the end all lost
Rejecting all the new brand new cures.
Infested by filthy maggots that breed; pure.
ignoring the body, underestimating the calls.
Waiting & wanting to be dead with a final fall.
Intimate with the perfect stranger.
Downtrodden to reduce effective measures.
Once was denied, rejected now all that is left is a new born hater.

Stay back and get the fuck away from me.
We were friends; not anymore, please.
I was shoved, so was I pushed.
you didn’t even cared when I was about to loose.
All alone
Let it go
A mad night; loosing grip on sanity controls.
I don’t care, I dealt it all by myself, alone.
when you never even seemed to care like before.
Loosing a fight with lost hopes.
Friends turned into strangers to stay low.
A stairway of ignorance climbed to show,
That I survived even when I was made practically hollow.
leave me and walk away please.
like you never knew me.
It doesn’t matter what you believe.
As long as you’re willing to accept that I was just a bad dream.
Yeah, a fucking nightmare feed.
meaningless is what all you told me.
but its killing me from the inside, slowly & gently.

How far can I run?
How far can you jump?
Run away from me please, all I am is just a bad luck.
I resign, there’s no return.
Desolation ran over me like a monster truck.
Depression made my feet prepared to touch.
A hell just down below me about to burn myself up.
I promise I’ll hold onto to no grudge.
When it never mattered to me why would I lurk?
unnecessary guilt rising to bark
At the back of my head sticking out a knife razor sharp.
While you keep talking.
I keep thinking.
Abused by my own mind towards surrendering.

Meaningless, meaningless,
Everythings just lies meaningless.
my life my will slowly put to test
to prove that I’m actually in despair.
Black & white.
Contrasting light
Darkness hides
Striving through to survive
A heavy, long, hard, lost fight.
The contaminated evil inside.
turned out to be viciously victorious; the big guy.
Negotiated accordingly to turn insane with his choice.
But everything escalated so quickly with his guide.
Patient found apparently dead in an isolated crash site.
An attempt to suicide.
Successful; on a pitch black dark night.
Resentment lingered around restraining me from any final goodbyes.
Raced the car off the road, jumped across the cliff from a great height.
Body was never discovered as it burned out from the blast in a quick flash of time.
No remains found, no lost items identified.

Written by :- P.S  (PATIENT Stan)


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