My Identical Name 

Made for failure.

Again profiling misbehavior.

Yielding inside the fear.

Once you are near.

Can’t cope what is here.

What do you want to deal with.
It’s already feeling like shit.

Just for once do it.

My identical name proves it.

 

Irritated

Frustrated. 

Craved it. 

Find it. 

Blades to hit. 

Disappointed.

Fighting those voices. 

Compulsive choices. 

Lost avoided. 

Lips guided. 

Controls finded. 

 

What should i do? 

I was helpless like a fool. 

So i found a tool. 

To slowly execute. 

My painful truth. 

Digged it confused. 

Bleeding let loose. 

Stiches dont look cute. 

Open it, you. 

Dumbass shoot. 

Bleeding let loose. 

Blood droops. 

 

Im lying.  

That im fine. 

Completely alright. 

Losing my mind.  

Losing everyday fights. 

I get nights. 

Screaming bright.

Cut you bastard with a knife.

 

Tolerating pain 

Has became a game 

Pure shame 

Fat ass lame. 

Urges came. 

I became. 

To cut myself again. 

Why such a day. 

Filled with negative hails. 

Im tired to blame. 

I hate.

My weight. 

You’re late. 

To maintain. 

My identical name.

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Lost Appeals.

​Here, again, I want to go,

Away, far, to a distance unknown,

Rituals and faiths on a blind ideal,

No bone to reform like an unbreakable seal,

They say Lucifer is locked down in hell,

But either he is free or we are down with him in well,

Every man, every woman seems a bit odd to me,

“Nice to meet you”, how can you say that when we just had seconds to greet,

Why these social obligations? Isn’t it good enough we are we?

But, I know, society, oh damn! Society!

Left – P.S , Right – Flip Dippity

Written by my dear friend Flip Dippity a.k.a Dhruv

Chaotic Torture. Victimised Tragedy.

Normal VS Chaos

1 – The truth will never be told.

Lying is always what you did before.

Preoccupied with a self destructive mind.

Capable of ruining a worthy life.

Distorted reality.

Burning sanity.

Anxious nyctophile.

Somewhere found between the closing lines.

Light headed, feeling cold.

The sky above and the earth below.

Thinking what you’ve got, seems like nothing before.
2 – It’s the only way.

It’s the only road you’ve got to take.

Describing a habit has become so lame.

Surrendered to a failing fate.

Normality took me towards the peripheries of insane.

A sold out soul to a predator’s prey.

Made for nothing.

Living a lie filled with hating.

Denying all you need, you require.

Close calls elaborating pleasuring notifier.
3 – Fear & doubts horizon.

A slow poison.

How many times have you said, “I’m Fine.”?

With a disgusted face & bloodshot eyes.

Crippled senses uncoordinated behavior.

Demonic forces finally strike the deer.

Paralyzed to the extent of numbness.

Woken up by the voice through terrifying nightmares.

Temporary fakeness all appears reassuring.

Covering up pain through humor; next to avoiding.

Chaotic Torture. Victimized tragedy.

Destined to suffer naturally.

Written by P.S 

Mind Slave

I am a slave to my own vile mind.

Loss of mind control. Instead the mind controls.

1 – It was a pleasure living with you.

Lying is what all you made me do.

But now you’re inside of me.

Shouting loud so I could obey all your deeds.

Head full & plates empty.

Cussing friend nagging at me.

What all you can do to make me?

Shattered, broken & insane mentally.
2 – Eat up your loneliness for your only breakfast.

Spending the day in guilt for the meal you ate just.

Eat up your own bloody miseries.

Live upto the standards inside that’s yelling me to be.

Disordered lifestyle.

Scarce fights.

Relapsing again after saying I’m fine.

Motivation to recovery being denied.
3 – Torturous thoughts.

Piling up like a fucking storm.

Give up, give in or give it all.

Whatevers left & what’s all you’ve got.

Tears roll down in fucking silence.

Confused & afraid facing your own worst nightmares.

Help comes in many different ways.

Acceptance of help is itself a big challenge to take.

Even if you get better & maintain your healthy shape.

Chances to relapse always remain.

Which can make you to absolutely degrade.
4 – CHOICES.

VIBES.

A LIVING SLAVE TO A MONSTROUS MIND.

Ripping up whatevers present inside.

You may call it a disease but it’s my life.

Lock & load.

Almost safe to secure.

There’s only one way this story could go.

Voices winning the battles you never ever chose for.

Controlling you between the spaces of your only hopes.

Written by P.S 

Depths Of Suffering

Shadows haunt you.

1 – A war constant against myself.

Can’t find ways to defend.

This demon inside which has possessed.

Making me feel totally helpless.

When I starve, I feel like I’ve achieved a lot.

But certainly paid a very very high cost.

Contributing further to my own personal degrading loss.

The voices go too loud in my head.

They are all making me dead.

Stop bloody ingesting.

Run for the purging.

No matter what I eat,

I couldn’t hold it in, even while being asleep.
2 – I atlast tried hard & finally ate.

But couldn’t stand the fact of feeling full again.

In disgust I threw all the remaining food away.

Powerful voices feeding inside of me.

Hoping for a new start, a new journey.

Even after fucking recovery. 

Discovering the voices back inside of me; hard to beat.

A new truth added towards a ruined destiny.

“Go fuck yourself if you eat.”

“You bloodyshit remain guilty.”

“Without feeling kindness for yourself or sorry.”
3 – Madness as you know is alot like gravity, all it takes is a little push.

Leaving inside of you a self destructive thorny bush.

A victim to a crime totally confused.

Insanity extended functions to maximum use.

Pain accumulates to rip open the wounds.

Severely broken down through  self abuse.

Avoiding everything through being negligent to the truth.

I have lost myself to a stranger, totally fooled.
4 – Severe measures.

Took under desperation.

Persistent hate continues to bother.

Inside the mind, lingering under.

Weakened to the point of fits & seizures.

Detrimental while in starvation period.

Losing all controls on anxiety & fear.

Lying & cheating while in self denial.

Patient relapsed potential death is near.

A silent kill which no one would be able to hear.

Afraid of the voice.

That hides inside.

Dominated by an entity totally unknown.

No one would ever come to finally know.

To what exactly an individual does behind those closed doors.

It appears that a monster is in full control.

Written by P.S