1 – A war constant against myself.
Can’t find ways to defend.
This demon inside which has possessed.
Making me feel totally helpless.
When I starve, I feel like I’ve achieved a lot.
But certainly paid a very very high cost.
Contributing further to my own personal degrading loss.
The voices go too loud in my head.
They are all making me dead.
Stop bloody ingesting.
Run for the purging.
No matter what I eat,
I couldn’t hold it in, even while being asleep.
2 – I atlast tried hard & finally ate.
But couldn’t stand the fact of feeling full again.
In disgust I threw all the remaining food away.
Powerful voices feeding inside of me.
Hoping for a new start, a new journey.
Even after fucking recovery.
Discovering the voices back inside of me; hard to beat.
A new truth added towards a ruined destiny.
“Go fuck yourself if you eat.”
“You bloodyshit remain guilty.”
“Without feeling kindness for yourself or sorry.”
3 – Madness as you know is alot like gravity, all it takes is a little push.
Leaving inside of you a self destructive thorny bush.
A victim to a crime totally confused.
Insanity extended functions to maximum use.
Pain accumulates to rip open the wounds.
Severely broken down through self abuse.
Avoiding everything through being negligent to the truth.
I have lost myself to a stranger, totally fooled.
4 – Severe measures.
Took under desperation.
Persistent hate continues to bother.
Inside the mind, lingering under.
Weakened to the point of fits & seizures.
Detrimental while in starvation period.
Losing all controls on anxiety & fear.
Lying & cheating while in self denial.
Patient relapsed potential death is near.
A silent kill which no one would be able to hear.
Afraid of the voice.
That hides inside.
Dominated by an entity totally unknown.
No one would ever come to finally know.
To what exactly an individual does behind those closed doors.
It appears that a monster is in full control.
Written by P.S