Self Harm

Mind Of A Self Harmer. Also known as self injury or self mutilation.

Scars, scars.

Fading scars.

Created in the dark.

They’re the marks.

Of the battles that tore me apart.

When I was weak, when I was far.

In the abyss terrified in the heart.

Shivering in pain that everytime marked.

My blood flowing down my arms.

Once used to relieve me from the past.

Or the silent screams inside me feeding my yard.

Pushed me into a deeper state that caused me more to harm.

Felt guilty, which was once where I’d start.

To create lines which were deep and sharp.

Carelessly I punished myself for being a part.

In disobeying my monster that circled most of my hours.

Always shouting to me, “I’m the one who’s incharge.”

Playing with me, “I’m the boss”, card.

When it was late night, I woke up to her evil laughs.

When I was awake, she abused me, till I agreed with her, riding in her car.

Then she happily handed me a blade, promising that it’s her cure, to relieve me fast.

I was unaware, that it was her trick, to make me her slave with one of her tasks.

To keep me restraint, in chains, inside her steel bars.

Once I was hooked, it was all a game known as SELF HARM.

Written by P.S. (PATIENT Stan)

(Self Harm is a serious problem, existing among all, both young & adults. It is a coping mechanism & a serious addiction. Yes it is similar to a heroin addiction. All it takes is just 1 cut to get completely hooked to it.)

In dedication to all those who harm themselves, know that you’re not alone and there’s always a cure to this problem. 

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Loner By Anxiety 

It doesn’t get better by just merely saying.
Don’t ever leave someone halfway out in the cold.

1 – Isolated destiny. 

Victim to a variety. 

Maximised to tragedies.

Defiled by profanity. 

Peripheries of insanity. 

Disguised in duality. 

Cutting to negativity.

Relapsing to recovery. 

Held back from clarity. 

Rejected by tall trees. 

Which are filled with vanity. 

Casted by their shadows angrily. 

Ultimately. 

Sheltered by a lady. 

A dark unkown entity. 

Who seems to follow & drain me. 

Loner By Anxiety. 

 

2 – Day to day. 

Everything seems to fail. 

Cold yet not brave. 

Held in hand to waste. 

Mind brutally raped. 

A vicious pain. 

Concluding to fade. 

Thrust of a blade. 

Nothing remains. 

When there is shame. 

Dripping blood makes it all go away. 

Thoughts again elevate. 

Destructively they debate. 

Another crave. 

Simply to maintain. 

To decrease the outrage.

Killed by self hate. 

Meter to tolerate. 

Exceeding to operate. 

Cutting again and again. 

 

3 – Eat less. 

It becomes a test. 

Losing becomes a zest. 

A mind – slave to the rest. 

Obidience is the crest.

Endangered bird inside the nest.

Purpose to forget. 

That fat is of help. 

On the war of bloodshed.

Nothing felt. 

Obsessions dreamt. 

Madness to progress. 

Illusion to become the best.  

Controlled & held. 

Inside the cage, dwell. 

 

4 – “Stay strong. 

Hold on. 

You’re not bound. 

Don’t doubt.”

How can you shout?? 

How can you try out?? 

Positive to profound.

When you left me halfway to drought.

Rejecting, left to the foul. 

I am being rotting inside the ground. 

No traces found. 

But I am silently loud. 

So you could figure me out.

Where am I being drowned.

Left alone to a hound. 

Which will soon terminate me for contrvening it’s vow.

 

1 – Isolated destiny. 

Victim to a variety. 

Maximised to tragedy.

Defiled by profanity. 

Peripheries of insanity. 

Disguised in duality. 

Cutting to negativity.

Relapsing to recovery. 

Held back from clarity. 

Rejected by tall trees. 

Which are filled with vanity. 

Casted by their shadows angrily. 

Ultimately. 

Sheltered by a lady. 

A dark unkown entity. 

Who seems to follow & drain me. 

Loner By Anxiety. 

Relapse Fraud (2nd part of Relapse Deed)

3 months clean, now I’m losing it all.

 

Don’t lose it all. 

Whatever you did for a cause.

Remember the slips & falls. 

Till now you were strong. 

But it’s all gone. 

Slowly getting deformed. 

Hands once again perform. 

The filthy deed that calls. 

Time to stop the job. 

Relapsing fraud. 

 

Yet again. 

3AM phase. 

Darkness remains. 

Fighting again, shame. 

Withering migraine. 

Poisoning brain. 

Mind that contains. 

Counting the days. 

Everything becomes waste. 

Can’t face. 

Damaged permanently; too late. 

Recovery breaking game. 

Bitter eroding taste.

Pathetic fail.

Craved for blades. 

Relapsing gate. 

 

Can’t decide. 

What is wrong, what is right? 

All I can do is fight. 

But the craves provide. 

A sense to lose the night. 

Nothing seems purified. 

Thoughts defile. 

Suicidal fright. 

Shaky hands can’t recognise. 

Deep into the skin, bite. 

All of a sudden everythings behind. 

Dripping blood describes. 

Relapsing with time.

Again turned blind. 

Just to feel alive. 

 

One cut’s sensation is high. 

Going for yet another ride. 

Depressive guide. 

Ending the pride. 

Just to stay alive. 

Killing the light. 

Which once shined. 

Relapsing becomes a bribe. 

Bleeding vile.

Another game to hide. 

Anxiety relieved by surprise. 

But it pulled the trigger to disguise.

Just to stay alive. 

 

Don’t lose it all. 

Whatever you did for a cause.

Remember the slips & falls. 

Till now you were strong. 

But it’s all gone. 

Slowly getting deformed. 

Hands once again perform. 

The filthy deed that calls. 

Time to stop the job. 

Relapsing fraud. 

 

Written by P.S  

 

 

 

 

A Self Harmer Never Forgets

Everyone matters

1 – Swallowed a pill.

Thinking this might be it.

A cure to this shit.

But it all never quits.

Scars left behind on skin.

Stayed clean for a bit.

But how much it will?

Take a second to drill.

Crave for pain to ease the hit.

Losing senses to become ill.

Relapsing agility turns out to be quick.
2 – A society of values without standards.

Losing faith in humanity as they’re all torturous.

Finding the exactly right purpose,

To live in such a world that hates to curse.

Like a broken glass everybody tries to make it worse.

Sick with the overall mental outcome.

Burning the so called lively emotions.

If you can’t properly function.

Whats the point to stay alive for infinite complications.

Some deal it with cutting to help them recover.

But it’s not all for attention.

It becomes a pure vicious addiction.
3 – Bullying the powerless.

It’s not we’re unfortunates.

We have just diminished senses.

So often we are left in helplessness.

Even if we fail to pretend.

Our character greatly represents.

That you would find it nowhere else.

A brain chemistry like of a cheated.

4 – Reality turned us to use our heart less.

On top of that we have adapted to every test.

But the mind is like a mob’s fest.

Surely it soon forgets.

On the ways of how we can defend.

Even from ourselves.

Then a suicidal self loathing is dressed.

After a number of years of harassments.

When there are no vital signs & left with only blank-ness. 

The build up of death seems harmless.

And we take our lives to give it a rest.

The pain inside which makes us deaf.

Rotting insides finally put to an end.

Like scars, like memories, words & silent screams, are something that a self harmer never forgets.

They run wild inside his mind over & over & over again.

Erasing the controlling puppets.

Addicted to a blade that is pressed.

Against the chest.

Thoughts run wild inside his mind over & over & over again.

Questioning itself & it’s existence.

Like scars, like memories, words & silent screams, are something that a self harmer never forgets.
Written By P.S (PATIENT Stan)

In memory of the lost souls & the ones who harm themselves (You’re all precious to me and I love you all), dedicated to them.

 

We’re all in this together. Let’s try atleast.
Biggest misconception. Relapsing is not a failure. You tried and that’s enough.

Unfortunates Of The Night (Title by Flip Dippity)

Well we always do but it never seems to happen
Place your feet in my shoes and see. (Idol)

1 – Antisocial Tendencies.

What about me?

Ignore the bloody.

Criticise the feel.

What we’re not able to deal.

Only we know please.
2 – We are not blind.

Just have lost focus out of sight.

All we wanna do is die.

Call us unfortunates of the night.

We only know, how we fight.

Urges & enemies that together shout & collide.

My destiny abrupted behind.

So, I ask you how many times?

You’ve wondered I’m fine.

I’m not right. Tell me I’m not right.
3 – Soaked in blood.

I don’t care to give a fuck.

All I know how to self destruct.

Magnet to bad luck.
Yes, I will run.

Yes, I will hide.

Testing my will to attempt suicide.

Don’t get surprised.

When one day for surely I will definitely die.

Unfortunates of the night??

We are the victims of our own mind.

That practically survived.

The night phase of pressuring fights.

So, how many times??? I ask you.

With your phone called me to know I’m alright.

Don’t criticise.

Nor quote it like,

That the truth seemed denied.

Cuze only I know one day I won’t survive.

Relapsed derived. 

Precisely wounded inside.

Cutting outside.
4 – Antidote, to my physical pain.

Becomes my only last hopes.

You don’t know.

What all I’ve been through before.

So leave me alone.

Cuze you don’t know.

Nor I choose to ignore.

Never took you lightly for sure.

Just bored.

Push & show.

Careless notes.

Pain is my antidote.

Pain is my last hope.

Writing careless notes.

Like I used to always show.

To pretend my pain is hollow.

It’s nothing, it pure.

Self hate of bleeding floors.