Tag Archives: Anorexia Nervosa

Out Of My League

1 – Like an object.

Deny the presence.

Bitterly tremendous.

Internalized derailment.

Agonized & tormented.

Dissociative measurements.

Isolatory dominance.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.
3 – I am potentially toxic.

Helplessly fought it.

Still it’s a vicious fix.

Tolerating the hits.

Fading the nasty bits.

I am too ugly & shame filled.

I can’t be fit.

So let me quit.

Wasted drifts.

Landing intensive.

Slow but pervasive.

Isolative.

Hyperly destructive.

Repetitive.
4 – Pop up your meds.

Quite the opposite instead.

Blur & numb.

Probably feeling dumb.

Battles become,

A sticky gum.

Running out of luck.
5 – Fright rate.

Immensely paced.

Tolerate.

This hate.

But can’t wait.

Because it’s now bursting in flames.

In severe rage.

Profound permanent mistake.

Blood on nails.

Pain erase.

Weight gain.

Eating shame.

Mind equates.

Brutal hails.

Monsters made.

Brain opiate.

But still functioning to terminate.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.

6 – Futile.

Reptile.

Terrified.

Losing every fight.

Blades occupy.

To decide.

Depth of the pile.

Boiling & bubbling inside.

Craving it to stay alive.

Lost sight.

Mortified.

Pressuring shine.

Piercing the eyes.

Seduction rise.

Begin the ride.

Individualized.

Secretly quietly contain the size.

Put on your mask of disguise.

And say this to you, leave me blind.

Like a broken string of a kite.

Written by P.S 

Filled With Fat

Perfect is illusion.

1 – Don’t you understand? 

What fills you is fat. 

Godamn. 

Do what you can,  

Just overcome this expand.

With what you have.

Don’t you understand? 

Godamn. 

What fills you is fat.

 

2 – Prepare the mice. 

It will all serve right. 

Until the price. 

Is what we get to describe. 

Too easily to get bribed. 

Too easily madness drives. 

Insane enough that multiples. 

 

3 – Ruining your skin. 

This fat just begins. 

To cover up your shit.

The void is from within.

That needs to be filled. 

Or else it will just stay there like filth. 

Until that, crazy bitch will wipe off my grin.

And will start to feed my mind & my free will.

Slowly she would make me ill. 

Silently she would sit still.

Till her time is at peak and I must be killed. 

On peripheries of numerous thrills.

 

4 – Sleepy, not able to concentrate. 

I still need to lose a few more of my weight. 

But now I’m unable to get my head straight. 

It’s always the blame game. 

Haunting me again & again. 

Nights filled with severe stomach pain. 

Still starving because there’s no other way. 

I still need to lose a few more of my weight. 

Now when I even face food my thoughts run insane. 

Punished by myself by dragging a blade. 

Just to end that shame. 

I turned open, depression’s gate.

And blades became my addiction that never could be explained. 

 

1 – Don’t you understand? 

What fills you is fat. 

Godamn. 

Do what you can,  

Just overcome this expand.

With what you have.

Don’t you understand? 

Godamn. 

What fills you is fat.

Written By P.S 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loner By Anxiety 

It doesn’t get better by just merely saying.

Don’t ever leave someone halfway out in the cold.

1 – Isolated destiny. 

Victim to a variety. 

Maximised to tragedies.

Defiled by profanity. 

Peripheries of insanity. 

Disguised in duality. 

Cutting to negativity.

Relapsing to recovery. 

Held back from clarity. 

Rejected by tall trees. 

Which are filled with vanity. 

Casted by their shadows angrily. 

Ultimately. 

Sheltered by a lady. 

A dark unkown entity. 

Who seems to follow & drain me. 

Loner By Anxiety. 

 

2 – Day to day. 

Everything seems to fail. 

Cold yet not brave. 

Held in hand to waste. 

Mind brutally raped. 

A vicious pain. 

Concluding to fade. 

Thrust of a blade. 

Nothing remains. 

When there is shame. 

Dripping blood makes it all go away. 

Thoughts again elevate. 

Destructively they debate. 

Another crave. 

Simply to maintain. 

To decrease the outrage.

Killed by self hate. 

Meter to tolerate. 

Exceeding to operate. 

Cutting again and again. 

 

3 – Eat less. 

It becomes a test. 

Losing becomes a zest. 

A mind – slave to the rest. 

Obidience is the crest.

Endangered bird inside the nest.

Purpose to forget. 

That fat is of help. 

On the war of bloodshed.

Nothing felt. 

Obsessions dreamt. 

Madness to progress. 

Illusion to become the best.  

Controlled & held. 

Inside the cage, dwell. 

 

4 – “Stay strong. 

Hold on. 

You’re not bound. 

Don’t doubt.”

How can you shout?? 

How can you try out?? 

Positive to profound.

When you left me halfway to drought.

Rejecting, left to the foul. 

I am being rotting inside the ground. 

No traces found. 

But I am silently loud. 

So you could figure me out.

Where am I being drowned.

Left alone to a hound. 

Which will soon terminate me for contrvening it’s vow.

 

1 – Isolated destiny. 

Victim to a variety. 

Maximised to tragedy.

Defiled by profanity. 

Peripheries of insanity. 

Disguised in duality. 

Cutting to negativity.

Relapsing to recovery. 

Held back from clarity. 

Rejected by tall trees. 

Which are filled with vanity. 

Casted by their shadows angrily. 

Ultimately. 

Sheltered by a lady. 

A dark unkown entity. 

Who seems to follow & drain me. 

Loner By Anxiety. 

My Identical Name 

Made for failure.

Again profiling misbehavior.

Yielding inside the fear.

Once you are near.

Can’t cope what is here.

What do you want to deal with.
It’s already feeling like shit.

Just for once do it.

My identical name proves it.

 

Irritated

Frustrated. 

Craved it. 

Find it. 

Blades to hit. 

Disappointed.

Fighting those voices. 

Compulsive choices. 

Lost avoided. 

Lips guided. 

Controls finded. 

 

What should i do? 

I was helpless like a fool. 

So i found a tool. 

To slowly execute. 

My painful truth. 

Digged it confused. 

Bleeding let loose. 

Stiches dont look cute. 

Open it, you. 

Dumbass shoot. 

Bleeding let loose. 

Blood droops. 

 

Im lying.  

That im fine. 

Completely alright. 

Losing my mind.  

Losing everyday fights. 

I get nights. 

Screaming bright.

Cut you bastard with a knife.

 

Tolerating pain 

Has became a game 

Pure shame 

Fat ass lame. 

Urges came. 

I became. 

To cut myself again. 

Why such a day. 

Filled with negative hails. 

Im tired to blame. 

I hate.

My weight. 

You’re late. 

To maintain. 

My identical name.

​Against The Shame.

Borderline, Anorexia, Cutting


Nice to know you,I have been a big fool.

Confused.

States in loose.

Thoroughly abused.

By the mind filth shoots.
Self hate…

To gain weight.

Put the blade.

Against  skin, today.

Sharper, deeper scraped.

Inner demons say.

Do it!! You deserve pain

Against the shame.
Roots of interpretations

Failed to become

Relapsed again, no fun.

Feeling dumb.

Absolutely numbed.

Relieved?what?

Can’t say much.
Self hate…

To gain weight.

Put the blade.

Against  skin, today.

Sharper, deeper scraped.

Inner demons say.

Do it!! You deserve pain

Against the shame.