Tag Archives: Borderline Personality Disorder

Out Of My League

1 – Like an object.

Deny the presence.

Bitterly tremendous.

Internalized derailment.

Agonized & tormented.

Dissociative measurements.

Isolatory dominance.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.
3 – I am potentially toxic.

Helplessly fought it.

Still it’s a vicious fix.

Tolerating the hits.

Fading the nasty bits.

I am too ugly & shame filled.

I can’t be fit.

So let me quit.

Wasted drifts.

Landing intensive.

Slow but pervasive.

Isolative.

Hyperly destructive.

Repetitive.
4 – Pop up your meds.

Quite the opposite instead.

Blur & numb.

Probably feeling dumb.

Battles become,

A sticky gum.

Running out of luck.
5 – Fright rate.

Immensely paced.

Tolerate.

This hate.

But can’t wait.

Because it’s now bursting in flames.

In severe rage.

Profound permanent mistake.

Blood on nails.

Pain erase.

Weight gain.

Eating shame.

Mind equates.

Brutal hails.

Monsters made.

Brain opiate.

But still functioning to terminate.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.

6 – Futile.

Reptile.

Terrified.

Losing every fight.

Blades occupy.

To decide.

Depth of the pile.

Boiling & bubbling inside.

Craving it to stay alive.

Lost sight.

Mortified.

Pressuring shine.

Piercing the eyes.

Seduction rise.

Begin the ride.

Individualized.

Secretly quietly contain the size.

Put on your mask of disguise.

And say this to you, leave me blind.

Like a broken string of a kite.

Written by P.S 

Inexplicably Inevitable

1 – Seen you’ve survived.

So now let’s destroy your night.

Don’t be terrified.

I’m just here for a while.

But I’ll molest you deep from the inside.

Where you won’t be able to recognise.

That I…

Will rip you blind.

So you can carve fine.

Parallel lines.

Failed fight.

High like…

Never mind.

I’m fine.

2 – Sometimes a bubble wrap.

Is all you have.

When you’re getting smashed.

Just too FUCKING fat.

Get yourself trapped.

Kill yourself & never comeback.

Because you’re full of crap.

A monologue in total contact.

Tolerance bursts to act.
3 – Get away from me.

How can you love a freak?

Who is ought to destruct himself completely.

Isolation doesn’t feel lonely.

Sometimes it provides security.

Inexicably.

Inevitably.

Inexpressibly.

When you succeed to hurt me.

Coping becomes nasty.

But I deserve it anyways, no need!

I’m dying already.

Get away from me.

Let me act in, toxically.

Sprinting those razors atrociously.

A wave of silence spreading softly.
Written By P.S. ‘PATIENT’ Stan.

The Quiet Borderline 

Why I’m always so silent. In pic (Kurt Cobain)

 1 – My body shakes.

My head aches. 

I’ve been raped. 

And I’m going to fail. 

Because mind maims. 

Bullied under shame. 

Severe self hate. 

Can’t raise. 

Voice against. 

Madness chased. 

Hidden blades.

  

2 – Fine. 

I’m alright. 

Just a lost fight.  

Blurred sight. 

Now it’s a constant drive. 

Ugly body, pathetic mind. 

Miserable life. 

Opiate eyes. 

Pain behind. 

Tears dry. 

Masked lie. 

But why? 

Anxious to die.

3 – You will be gone soon. 

And I will lock my cocoon. 

Where I will bleed my doom.

So don’t find me and get confused. 

Because suicide is now a loop.

It’s becoming my ultimate truth. 

And I just can’t choose. 

What exactly do I have to prove? 

I’ve failed everything, whatever I’ve been through. 

So don’t look. 

I am a burning book. 

Which will soon. 

Turn to ashes, erasing my proof. 

My existence is mute.

And please don’t look back. 

I’ve already planned my attack. 

I’m sitting with a gun in my hand.

So don’t look back. 

I’m already trapped. 

4 – A woman who tried. 

She took my mask of disguise. 

I painted a picture which she defined. 

Hate which made me defiled.

The misery I tried to hide. 

A disgusting smile. 

Saw my soul through my eyes.

Withering ride.

But I, 

Left her because I, deserve to die. 

The quiet borderline. 

About to pull the trigger…grip on the gun; tight.

The Quiet Borderline.

Who never shined.

Is now terrorised.

Afraid to stay alive.

The Quiet Borderline.

Alone in night.

Jumped down from a height.

The Quiet Borderline.

Written By ‘PATIENT’ Stan.

Meaning – I wrote this to describe quiet borderline personality. Which is quite psychotically more self destructive because a typical BPD sufferer would exhibit acting out, where as a a quiet one will act in. Inducing pain upon themselves. They get unnoticed and it’s sometimes too late for them. 

It’s story about a guy who is struggling from such inner turmoil that he thinks he doesn’t deserve anyone in his life. He gets frightened when people try to get too close to him. He just maintains his distance and avoids contact. He’s sensitive about his scars. But not comfortable in his skin as people keep reminding him to pull his sleeves down. Providing him successfull nostalgia of misery & shame. He feels things intensely and that’s why hate getting attached to someone because he knows it will be a rollercoaster of agonising pain. He’s suicidal and thinks he deserves to die.

Unfortunates Of The Night (Title by Flip Dippity)

Well we always do but it never seems to happen

Place your feet in my shoes and see. (Idol)

1 – Antisocial Tendencies.

What about me?

Ignore the bloody.

Criticise the feel.

What we’re not able to deal.

Only we know please.
2 – We are not blind.

Just have lost focus out of sight.

All we wanna do is die.

Call us unfortunates of the night.

We only know, how we fight.

Urges & enemies that together shout & collide.

My destiny abrupted behind.

So, I ask you how many times?

You’ve wondered I’m fine.

I’m not right. Tell me I’m not right.
3 – Soaked in blood.

I don’t care to give a fuck.

All I know how to self destruct.

Magnet to bad luck.
Yes, I will run.

Yes, I will hide.

Testing my will to attempt suicide.

Don’t get surprised.

When one day for surely I will definitely die.

Unfortunates of the night??

We are the victims of our own mind.

That practically survived.

The night phase of pressuring fights.

So, how many times??? I ask you.

With your phone called me to know I’m alright.

Don’t criticise.

Nor quote it like,

That the truth seemed denied.

Cuze only I know one day I won’t survive.

Relapsed derived. 

Precisely wounded inside.

Cutting outside.
4 – Antidote, to my physical pain.

Becomes my only last hopes.

You don’t know.

What all I’ve been through before.

So leave me alone.

Cuze you don’t know.

Nor I choose to ignore.

Never took you lightly for sure.

Just bored.

Push & show.

Careless notes.

Pain is my antidote.

Pain is my last hope.

Writing careless notes.

Like I used to always show.

To pretend my pain is hollow.

It’s nothing, it pure.

Self hate of bleeding floors.

Weak

Low self esteem comes in handy candy. You choose to loose.


Thin…thin…thin.
Occupied within.
Troubling skin.
Fat fucking limbs.
Despised will.
Mirror hit.Mood swing.

Outer fit.

Fuck it…just fuck it.

Vomit out.

Probably foul.

Achievement now.

Exhausted??? How???

Fatigue drowned.

Black outs.

Depressing mouth.

Mind profound.

On getting loud.

Ingesting doubts.
Weak.

Bleak.

WORLD; deal.

Adjust please.

Dying needs.

Blue neat.

Swallow gently.

Pain, feels.

Cutter

Downer.

Pathetic looser.

Abuser.

Shooter.

Suicidal.

Final.

Hide a,

Desire.

Destructively biased.

Disguise of fire.

Mask Admire.

Joker, dire.

Reality perspires.

Hate higher.

Cutting guider.

Much more, blinder.

Thin…might just…

Loose some.

But failed Trust.

So chose to self destruct.

Coward with drugs.

IN TO THIN..NIL TO NOTHING.
Written by P.S  (PATIENT Stan)