Tag Archives: BPD

Out Of My League

1 – Like an object.

Deny the presence.

Bitterly tremendous.

Internalized derailment.

Agonized & tormented.

Dissociative measurements.

Isolatory dominance.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.
3 – I am potentially toxic.

Helplessly fought it.

Still it’s a vicious fix.

Tolerating the hits.

Fading the nasty bits.

I am too ugly & shame filled.

I can’t be fit.

So let me quit.

Wasted drifts.

Landing intensive.

Slow but pervasive.


Hyperly destructive.

4 – Pop up your meds.

Quite the opposite instead.

Blur & numb.

Probably feeling dumb.

Battles become,

A sticky gum.

Running out of luck.
5 – Fright rate.

Immensely paced.


This hate.

But can’t wait.

Because it’s now bursting in flames.

In severe rage.

Profound permanent mistake.

Blood on nails.

Pain erase.

Weight gain.

Eating shame.

Mind equates.

Brutal hails.

Monsters made.

Brain opiate.

But still functioning to terminate.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.

6 – Futile.



Losing every fight.

Blades occupy.

To decide.

Depth of the pile.

Boiling & bubbling inside.

Craving it to stay alive.

Lost sight.


Pressuring shine.

Piercing the eyes.

Seduction rise.

Begin the ride.


Secretly quietly contain the size.

Put on your mask of disguise.

And say this to you, leave me blind.

Like a broken string of a kite.

Written by P.S 

Inexplicably Inevitable

1 – Seen you’ve survived.

So now let’s destroy your night.

Don’t be terrified.

I’m just here for a while.

But I’ll molest you deep from the inside.

Where you won’t be able to recognise.

That I…

Will rip you blind.

So you can carve fine.

Parallel lines.

Failed fight.

High like…

Never mind.

I’m fine.

2 – Sometimes a bubble wrap.

Is all you have.

When you’re getting smashed.

Just too FUCKING fat.

Get yourself trapped.

Kill yourself & never comeback.

Because you’re full of crap.

A monologue in total contact.

Tolerance bursts to act.
3 – Get away from me.

How can you love a freak?

Who is ought to destruct himself completely.

Isolation doesn’t feel lonely.

Sometimes it provides security.




When you succeed to hurt me.

Coping becomes nasty.

But I deserve it anyways, no need!

I’m dying already.

Get away from me.

Let me act in, toxically.

Sprinting those razors atrociously.

A wave of silence spreading softly.
Written By P.S. ‘PATIENT’ Stan.

Don’t Know

Recognizably failed.

To cease the pain.

Slaughter to fulfill the shame.

Begin the game.


Now left with dead insides.

My last ray of hope.

It is now a rope.

Suicidal Notes.

Looping jolts.

Pinching cold.

All over like before.

Intensely more.

This time chose.

Misery rose.

Vulgar cope.

Sober gore.

Deep in hole.

And I clearly don’t know.

No one can love me.

No one deserves a freak.

I am my own worst enemy.

And internalized anger bursts immediately.

Out on the skin efficiently.

Raped brutally.

Bleeding mercilessly.

End this symphony.

End this misery.

Don’t want life anymore, seriously.

And I don’t know how else to deal.
Written by P.S.

This Fat That Hits

Scary Scales

I want to runaway.

From these hours turning me insane. 

Everytime I try to lookaway. 

Never seems to get it straight. 

Whatever opportunities I waste. 

Feeling worthless once again. 

What do I do? What Do I say. 

When everything is to complicate. 

Its my mistake. 

I’m just too late. 


Shattered glass. 

Broken dreams. 

My job is to never feel. 

Whatever is good inside of me. 

Beginning to be incomplete. 

Struggling daily with heat. 

Heat that beats. 

Inside the belief. 

Of failed misery. 


All I can say is I’m sorry.

It was my fucking tragedy. 

I must have bored you with my story.

What all remains with me. 

Gradually breaking down my own knees. 

So leave me please. 

I’m a wasted piece. 

Anxiously weak. 

Slowly to feel. 

Pain inside the shield. 

Where I wasn’t meant to be. 

Turning out to be nasty. 


I wish I didn’t exist. 

Where else I could simply be fit? 

I’m no perfectionist. 

An imperfecting gift.

I need to lose this shit. 

Or else I’ll simply quit. 

Fat hits. 

Loose or quit. 

This fat that hits. 

Totally restrict. 

Starve a bit. 

Loose or quit. 

Or simply exit. 

This fat that hits. 


Bloody shit. 

Where else I could simply fit? 

With this fat that hits. 

Written by P.S.

Starring in those negative eyes 

Bloody battles (Oh no!!! my brand new jeans are ruined)

Hahaha paralyzed

Starring in those negative eyes. 

Walking over my side. 

Crossing lines; terrified. 

Bleep bleep. 

Locked inside. 

Starring in those negative eyes. 

Never seemed to be shy. 


Walking in those horrified.

Tortured to lie. 

Helping to survive. 

Starring in those negative eyes. 

Waking up to die. 

Never realised. 


Wounded back. 

Welcome back. 

Saw you have survived.

The shit. 

This shit.

Looping holes. 

No one told. 

Kept it was. 

No one’s boss. 

Addicted chaos. 

Leave it brought. 

Sincere sensitive call. 

Relapsed knots. 

User job. 

In addition forms. 

Destroy all.  

In this fall. 

Wound it across. 

Should have fought

Turn it into 

Brainy job. 

Maybe more. 

Drugs are cops. 

Results for your.

Own loss.

Let them lie.

Time to time. 

Every day

doing fine. 

Starring in those

negative eyes

Pessimistic Prism

Negative Thoughts Procedures

1 – Alcoholic, blind.

Can’t recognise.

To survive???

Living dead from the inside.

Negativity hides.

Unable to describe.

Comes out when try to deny.

Dead or alive??
2 – I trusted you.

I was the fool.

In giving you.

The freedom to loose.

You rage on me shoots,

Like a bullet from a gun into.

My sensitive heart broken by you.
3 – One more cut.

What a bloody idiot.

Self destructive behaviour.

Sibling hater.

Blade fader.

Bleeding better.

Words sharpener. 
4 – Perception has been blurred.

Out of a simple infection.

Pessimism to imperfections.

A particular center.

Defining the will of obsessions.

Looking for deep & dark sections.


For a simple strike to survival.

A general degradation.

Everything blamed further.

Cutting, hater.

Filthy shit! Pathetic Looser.

5 – A game changer.

All medicines taken.

Insanity still craved inner.

Under a strict disorder.

Relapsing power.

A wounding generator.

Surprisingly heavier.

Mood swinger.

Do it!! You’re a failure.

A Losing Dealer.

Lighter, yet a LOOSER.
Written By P.S

​Against The Shame.

Borderline, Anorexia, Cutting

Nice to know you,I have been a big fool.


States in loose.

Thoroughly abused.

By the mind filth shoots.
Self hate…

To gain weight.

Put the blade.

Against  skin, today.

Sharper, deeper scraped.

Inner demons say.

Do it!! You deserve pain

Against the shame.
Roots of interpretations

Failed to become

Relapsed again, no fun.

Feeling dumb.

Absolutely numbed.


Can’t say much.
Self hate…

To gain weight.

Put the blade.

Against  skin, today.

Sharper, deeper scraped.

Inner demons say.

Do it!! You deserve pain

Against the shame.