​How Self Harm Became My Self Awareness. Celebrating Thanksgiving & Gratitude (November) (The Mighty Submission)

Break the stereotype.

Article By – Stanly S. Toppo (Patient Flipped)

The most important thing to remember basically this month is that to be and become a kind reminder to yourself about what all you’ve been through, have grown and developed, how far and wherever you are in your recovery, you’re still trying your best. Every day, by staying alive, struggling, coping healthily and standing strong for more than enough. Allow yourself to be thankful and grateful to the people who’ve helped you reached where you are now. At the end of the day don’t forget to celebrate your life as well mighty warriors. 

(Part 1) 

(Tool-Kit For Help In Holidays) 

Self Harm, Eating Disorders, Depression, Anxiety. 

1) Self Harm and Eating disorders are in itself coping mechanisms, entangled between each other as well as it did for me. It’s always a key to remember that, not to force someone once they’re done eating. I know it seems very uneasy to digest this, but trust me we already struggle a lot to eat and when someone forces, their intentions are pure but it triggers us. So it’s always important to keep in mind, about this and I know your loved ones will enjoy more along with you. 

2) So when its holiday season people like us are often highly tensed, most of us get anxious because of the socialization associated in these days. If someone struggles to find themselves social, we as family members could help our loved ones, including in small conversations. Trust me it makes us feel belonging and special to the place and the present. 

3) Because of slips or relapses, whatever it is, instead of an intervention we could help our loved ones, bring them out of isolation and to spend time with us, ask them, and celebrate with them. Instead of blaming them and picking their mistakes, motivate them to get back to recovery. Make them feel special and valued, reach out for them, help them. We all as humans need to never forget that we or us is better than I or Me. It’s true, we as all humans first need to help others. 

4) Food is a high time issue in such a season. All we ask for is let us stick to our meal plan and if our mood is good we ourselves, will take more food. The meal plan which is particularly provided to you by your nutritionist. It makes easy for us to sit and enjoy around everyone because such times scares us to even talk to someone. 

Horror Hall Of Self Harm Mania!

(Part 2) 

My Pillars Of Recovery (Gratitude) 

1) ART (Painting)

Ms. Maanvi Chakraverty🙏🙏🙏

͚ART is a tool for some, it’s a silent weapon of choice. Art is known to have been curing and therapeutic in its functions which is vital for me to recover. The most inspirationally positive coping mechanism for me personally and for many others as well. A world entirely filled up with so many variations of messages, silent expressions, filled with extensive expressions,complexions and sophistications and what not more. Maanvi has made me channelize true perceptions of ART from an Artist’s point of view, by heavily influencing me through her own pieces. She has always been my rock pillar and provider of true strength and motivation and I owe her a lot for sticking up with me through my every thick & thins. It’s this reason why I constantly push myself as well to do the best at my recovery. Work on myself each and every single day with new challenges of a beautiful/gifted life. Thank You Maanvi!

The Lady In The Cosmic Curtain.

2) Writing (My Choice)

Mr. Dhruv Joshi a.k.a Flip Dipitty🙏🙏🙏

Writing is a battlefield to be honest. Like a source for me to deal with my urges, I still get it. I need to cope positively somehow and I try my best to write it all out. A Pen possesses the power to change or move the world, Writing has always been my main source at my recovery and has been quiteeffectively therapeutic for me in the most precious way. He has developed me, encouraged me; and have tried his best indeed to guide me, mentor me. He is my fellow writer, he also writes as well and have strongly influenced me in the most healthiest manner. A relationship purely developed through praise, respect, admiration for each other and finally hidden love of true brotherhood as Writer’s as well as Friends. Thank You Dhruv!

3) Reaching Out For Professional Help.

Ms. Manvi Sharma (Associate Psychologist)

She was also responsible in my recovery as well. When I hit my rock bottom, she became like my compass guide. She was my associate psychologist and still to this date, is a well known person to me.  Being elder to me she’s wise and quite experienced in her job of a psychologist, Therapy; along with medications have indeed helped me a lot. She has taught me so much and we together as one, worked things out simultaneously. She has helped me a lot and she also loves to read my writings as well. Her pure and gentle encouraging words and honest feedbacks on my own writings have proven to motivate me time and time again. It feels really good when you hear honesty. I respect, admire and I have a sincere amount of affection as a considerate human being for her. She has helped me like an elder sister, which I will never ever forget. Not matter what. Thank You Manvi Ma’am!


Conclusion

All I can say is that these three specific people in my life are like 

my gifts. A relationship with each one of them has made me 

found myself. 

These guys have been my rock strong pillars in my recovery and 

to reach out for help, end of all how to cope in a healthy 

manner. With so much trust, appreciation, love, affection, 

humblest gratitude and their more than kind , gentle human 

nature have taught a lot about my own self worth and value. 

I was once watching a documentary on self harm and at the 

end of it there was a positive message quoting, ͞SELF HARM͟, 

find yourSELF͟

͞stop the HARM͟

I would like to leave you all with this message. 

Most people don’t realize this that Eating Disorders are also a kind of self harm. When you’re destroying your body through unhealthy measures. And both (Eating Disorders, Self Harm)

Happy Holidays everyone. Take care and stay safe.

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The Actual Thing (Truth)

Sati The Mystique (Live, Laugh, Learn)😇❤💙💚

“If she is being your Sati, As a responsible human it’s crucial to become a Mahadev yourself, become her protector before becoming her lover. Provide her protection and keep her away from the ill evils of society and the world. Concealing yourself behind a pillar of strength and power, unveiling whenever necessary and required.”
#Bond

#Wise

#Philosophy 

#Honesty

#Healing


(Patient Flipped On Sati The Mystique)

Stanly S. Toppo 

Ticking Time Bomb

BPD is never in the middle. (Extreme High-low)



Theme – 

Mental Illnesses.

Eating Disorders.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Depression.

Anxiety.

Self Harm.

Addiction.

Facts




1 – Dawn.

“C’mon.”

Mocks.

Sensitivity Shocks.

Trigger Talks.

Hawks.

Bleed a hell lot.

Abandoned in this ball.

Break bones on the wall.

Borderline brought.

Rail track hot.

Problems unsolved. 

Box locked.

Chain of infinite thoughts. 

Walking across.

With substances in default.

With substance withdrawals.

With addiction caught.

Like a Suicidal corpse.

Like a dead rot.

Like a ticking time bomb.
2 – Self Destruction to define.

To numb the mind.

Out bursting in diet.

“No problem! I’m fine.”

Established relationship reply.

Opening up appears to terrify.

Can’t cry.

But always a swollen eye.

Angry fights.

Angry bites.

Again dying.

Again lying.

Hide.

Silently died.

From the inside.

Fan guide.

Knot appears bright.

Guilt oblige.

Fright.

Wide.

Time.

Puppet prime.

Controlling crime.

One more cut please, to stabilise!

Long Sleeve to cover up all the lies.
3 – Shame Filled.

Overkill. 

Manic thrill.

Of blade drill.

Self medicating until,

10 deep openings are done on skin.

Piercing steel pins.

Experimental self harm of anaesthetics.

Addictively pathetic.

Impulsively picked. 

Give up! You Prick! 

Hide that you’re actually sick.

Razor marking maladaptive.

Sedative,

That’s effective.

Borderline self destructive.

Everyday variations in mood swings.

Ultimately the enemy wins.

Self Harm swim.
4 – Caffeine Relays.

Hunger delayed.

Anxiously behaved.

Smash that food filled plate.

Chewed Up Brain.

Totally Frail.

Eat your own damn-bam pain.

Only option left of intakes.

For the strike, it awaits.

Open eyes! It wakes.

Occupied substance waste.

Depression Date.

Lonely with just blades.

Loving them anyways. Every way. 

Insomnia phase.

Functioning rage.

Functional self hate.

Food Jail!

Disgust of weight machine scales.

Smash that food filled plate! 

Smash that food filled plate!

 

5 – Dawn.

“C’mon.”

Mocks.

Sensitivity shocks.

Trigger Talks.

Hawks.

Bleed a hell lot.

Abandoned in this ball.

Break bones on the wall.

Borderline brought.

Rail track hot.

Problems unsolved. 

Box locked.

Chain of infinite thoughts. 

Walking across.

With substances in default.

With substance withdrawals.

With addiction caught.

Like a Suicidal corpse.

Like a dead rot.

Like a ticking time bomb.

 

Positives

Written By P.S.

Horror Horizon

Blood Madness, Silent Noise!
Mental Chaos Of Social Anxiety Disorder.

Horror Horizon
Written By P.S.
Theme – Depression.

Eating Disorders.

Anxiety.

Self Harm.

Phobia.
1 – He’s super stressed.

He’s super depressed.

Paranoia Press.

Dissociation progress.

Anxiously present.

Imaginary dependance. 

Delusional torments.

Filling up dead rodents.

Silent then suddenly violent.

Unknown enemy, unknown friend.

Can’t sit here, can’t stay patient.

Head-Horror-Horizon dent.
2 – Irrational Fear.

False accusations are here.

Getting ready to pierce.

Paranoia sets near.

Psychotic behavior.

What to do now? Mirror Meaner.

Scales Cleaner.

Phobia Premiere. 

Madness tear.

Distortion team curve.

Blade Adjusts.

This ruckus.

Blade Adjusts.

Punch it! Bloody shit! Punch!!!

Blade Adjusts.

Dissolution Cut.

Blade Adjusts.

Wrenching gut.

Blade Adjusts.

Medicative Mud.

Blade Adjusts.

Horror thuds.

Blade Adjusts.

With parallels.
3 – Socially Dead.

An odd Co incidence.

Victimized lens.

Emotional imbalance.

Horror Ambulance.

Self despised detachment. 

Anxious Severance.

Bubbling tolerance.

Unstable mood variance.

Logical Divergence.

Panic sets at night’s crescent.

Guilty!!!, Hence,

How to repent?

How to seek penance?

Only shinning judgement.

Seems to be the logical engagement.

Seems to be the only slapping derailment.

From The Hell of existence.
4 – Self Harmer Carelessly Swinged.  

Triggering mind kills.

Blades Never Quit.

Skeptic Disk.

Focusing Risk.

Mind Kicked.

Body Ditched.

Nasty Hits.

Pressurised drifts.

On the skin.

Opening terrific.

Flesh Filth.

You deserve it.

You imperfect brick.

You fat quilt.

Burdened with food guilt.

Purge! till head your absolutely spins. 

Starve! till eyes can’t meet the mist.
5 – Blade Adjusts.

This ruckus.

Blade Adjusts.

Punch it! Bloody shit! Punch!!!

Blade Adjusts.

Dissolution Cut.

Blade Adjusts.

Wrenching gut.

Blade Adjusts.

Medicative Mud.

Blade Adjusts.

Horror thuds.

Blade Adjusts.

With parallels.
6 – He’s super stressed.

He’s super depressed.

Paranoia Press.

Dissociation progress.

Anxiously present.

Imaginary dependance. 

Delusional torments.

Filling up dead rodents.

Silent then suddenly violent.

Unknown enemy, unknown friend.

Can’t sit here, can’t stay patient.

Head-Horror-Horizon dent.

 

 

Self Defeat

Eating Disorders are not choices, they choose you. (FACT 101)

SELF DEFEAT.
Written by P.S.
Theme – Depression.

Anxiety.

Eating Disorders.

Self Harm.

Addiction.

Substance Abuse.

(Trigger warning/explicit)
1 – Pierce.

Fierce.

Sounding near.

Smashed rear.

Bleeding ears.

Disgusted fears.

Whorish deer.

Molly becomes a peer.

Downer flame sear.
“Molly” – MDMA. Psychoactive Drug.
2 – Chem. (Short for “chemicals”).

Drug gem.

Spiral bend.

Just pretend.

Focused end.

Depths & dens.

Submerging trench.

Barbaric fence.

Failed defence.

Insomnia strikes.

Mentally blind.

Conclusions, terrified.

Roll the dice.

Pay the price.

Guilt obliged.

Pain??? Right!!!

Blade grind.
3 – Self Defeat.

Social anxiously.

Destructively.

Nervous system disease.

Eat! Bitch! Eat!

My voice begins to screech

My voice begins to creak.

Forcing beat.

Forcing meet.

Of guilt teeth.

Of guilt reach.

Destructively.

Self Defeat.
4 – Food toxification.

Fixations!

Obsessions!

Occasions!

Prohibition.

Dead ambition.

Total restrictions.

Volcanic eruptions.

Open nations.

Chemical patience.

Genetical destruction.

Dissociative concentration.
5 – Self Defeat.

Social anxiously.

Destructively.

Nervous system disease.

Eat! Bitch! Eat!

My voice begins to screech

My voice begins to creak.

Forcing beat.

Forcing meet.

Of guilt teeth.

Of guilt reach.

Destructively.

Self Defeat.

 

End the stigma. Ask a serious sufferer for a better insight on an eating disorder. For the rest its nothing, eating is just another task or not a big deal for them; It’s a war for lifetime for us. Breaking us all slowly even when we try to recover, we have to fight back. It takes a lot believe me, to actually fight the same thing all over again. It stays. Never leaves. And most of all you wonder how long? how long, like this? It’s a serious struggle. Each and every single second, every single day. To live with those voices.

Aroused

It’s True.

Written By P.S.

Theme – Depression.

Anxiety.

Self harm.

Eating disorders.

Addiction.
(Trigger Warning)
1 – Everything Blacks – out.

Every contact is foul.

Don’t interact, with your mouth.

Destructively operating and everything shuts down.

Smack yourself against the crowd.

Of societal  nouns.

Of societal grounds.

Lowering standards of self doubts.

Again getting strong & loud.

Self Harmer temptedly aroused.
2 – It’s all about the blade must.

It’s all about the blade thrust.

It’s all about that relieving rush. 

It’s all about the deep burst.

It’s all about the guilt worst.

It’s all about the scenery of blood shrugs.

Every time cursed.

Every time rubbed.
3 – Binged and purged.

Weakening submerged.

Dissociative serves.

To body and nerves.

Strange voices heard.

They begin to learn.

Your weakest turn.

Making you burn.

Making you concerned.

Making you follow its instructions.

Vile junction.

Bile abruption.

Nauseous proportions.

Digestive food abortions.

Blacking out cautions.
4 – Helpless Cope.

Hopeless bowl.

Never been told.

How to hold?

This chokes.

This pokes.

Out of control.

But the most.

Illogically – logical, inner feeding host.

Vulnerably gropes.

Strong gripness and furious hold.

Blood cone.

Blood enroll.

Brain sold.

Cognitions torn.

Gun reload.

Trigger Rode.

Failure phone.

Of unnheard moans.
5 – Everything Blacks – out.

Every contact is foul.

Don’t interact, with your mouth.

Destructively operating and everything shuts down.

Smack yourself against the crowd.

Of societal  nouns.

Of societal grounds.

Lowering standards of self doubts.

Again getting strong & loud.

Self Harmer temptedly aroused.

Into The Wild By Erin Hunter.

Quiet

Mahadev 🙏 (S)

Quiet.
Written By P.S.
Theme – Depression.

Anxiety.

Addiction.

Self Harm.

Eating Disorders. 

Mental Health.

(Trigger Warning)

1 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired

Just quiet.

2 – Cinematic gleam.

Collapsed heaps.

Bleeding gently.

Bleeding everyday, every week.

Dirty deeds.

Dripping on feet.

Guilt regimes.

Painful screams.

Extraordinary scene.

Of suppressing, relief lean.

Depression clean.

Everything’s red but, the world is again green.

Quietly bring a team.

Bring your needs.

And fall down on your knees.

Bangs on self esteem.

Madness speaks.

Damn! How weak?

How are you so weak??

3 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired.

Just quiet.
4 – Trigger table.

Damaged cable.

Vicious enable.

No! Good night, later.

“Haha”, laughs of evil favor.

Nasty galaxy crater.

Supreme fader.

Hate irritator.

Impulse surrender.

Action mender.

Pleasure seductor. 

Guilt rupture.

Possessive structures.
5 – Black and white.
Just fight.

This height.

Misfunctional device.

Vehicle seat belt tight.

On a driving night.

Switch on your headlights.

This is gonna be a nasty ride.

And you might,

You might not even cry.

After its done absolutely right.

Flying like a kite.

Black and white.

Don’t worry! Chew and bite.
6 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired.

Just quiet.