Ticking Time Bomb

BPD is never in the middle. (Extreme High-low)



Theme – 

Mental Illnesses.

Eating Disorders.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Depression.

Anxiety.

Self Harm.

Addiction.

Facts




1 – Dawn.

“C’mon.”

Mocks.

Sensitivity Shocks.

Trigger Talks.

Hawks.

Bleed a hell lot.

Abandoned in this ball.

Break bones on the wall.

Borderline brought.

Rail track hot.

Problems unsolved. 

Box locked.

Chain of infinite thoughts. 

Walking across.

With substances in default.

With substance withdrawals.

With addiction caught.

Like a Suicidal corpse.

Like a dead rot.

Like a ticking time bomb.
2 – Self Destruction to define.

To numb the mind.

Out bursting in diet.

“No problem! I’m fine.”

Established relationship reply.

Opening up appears to terrify.

Can’t cry.

But always a swollen eye.

Angry fights.

Angry bites.

Again dying.

Again lying.

Hide.

Silently died.

From the inside.

Fan guide.

Knot appears bright.

Guilt oblige.

Fright.

Wide.

Time.

Puppet prime.

Controlling crime.

One more cut please, to stabilise!

Long Sleeve to cover up all the lies.
3 – Shame Filled.

Overkill. 

Manic thrill.

Of blade drill.

Self medicating until,

10 deep openings are done on skin.

Piercing steel pins.

Experimental self harm of anaesthetics.

Addictively pathetic.

Impulsively picked. 

Give up! You Prick! 

Hide that you’re actually sick.

Razor marking maladaptive.

Sedative,

That’s effective.

Borderline self destructive.

Everyday variations in mood swings.

Ultimately the enemy wins.

Self Harm swim.
4 – Caffeine Relays.

Hunger delayed.

Anxiously behaved.

Smash that food filled plate.

Chewed Up Brain.

Totally Frail.

Eat your own damn-bam pain.

Only option left of intakes.

For the strike, it awaits.

Open eyes! It wakes.

Occupied substance waste.

Depression Date.

Lonely with just blades.

Loving them anyways. Every way. 

Insomnia phase.

Functioning rage.

Functional self hate.

Food Jail!

Disgust of weight machine scales.

Smash that food filled plate! 

Smash that food filled plate!

 

5 – Dawn.

“C’mon.”

Mocks.

Sensitivity shocks.

Trigger Talks.

Hawks.

Bleed a hell lot.

Abandoned in this ball.

Break bones on the wall.

Borderline brought.

Rail track hot.

Problems unsolved. 

Box locked.

Chain of infinite thoughts. 

Walking across.

With substances in default.

With substance withdrawals.

With addiction caught.

Like a Suicidal corpse.

Like a dead rot.

Like a ticking time bomb.

 

Positives

Written By P.S.

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Horror Horizon

Blood Madness, Silent Noise!
Mental Chaos Of Social Anxiety Disorder.

Horror Horizon
Written By P.S.
Theme – Depression.

Eating Disorders.

Anxiety.

Self Harm.

Phobia.
1 – He’s super stressed.

He’s super depressed.

Paranoia Press.

Dissociation progress.

Anxiously present.

Imaginary dependance. 

Delusional torments.

Filling up dead rodents.

Silent then suddenly violent.

Unknown enemy, unknown friend.

Can’t sit here, can’t stay patient.

Head-Horror-Horizon dent.
2 – Irrational Fear.

False accusations are here.

Getting ready to pierce.

Paranoia sets near.

Psychotic behavior.

What to do now? Mirror Meaner.

Scales Cleaner.

Phobia Premiere. 

Madness tear.

Distortion team curve.

Blade Adjusts.

This ruckus.

Blade Adjusts.

Punch it! Bloody shit! Punch!!!

Blade Adjusts.

Dissolution Cut.

Blade Adjusts.

Wrenching gut.

Blade Adjusts.

Medicative Mud.

Blade Adjusts.

Horror thuds.

Blade Adjusts.

With parallels.
3 – Socially Dead.

An odd Co incidence.

Victimized lens.

Emotional imbalance.

Horror Ambulance.

Self despised detachment. 

Anxious Severance.

Bubbling tolerance.

Unstable mood variance.

Logical Divergence.

Panic sets at night’s crescent.

Guilty!!!, Hence,

How to repent?

How to seek penance?

Only shinning judgement.

Seems to be the logical engagement.

Seems to be the only slapping derailment.

From The Hell of existence.
4 – Self Harmer Carelessly Swinged.  

Triggering mind kills.

Blades Never Quit.

Skeptic Disk.

Focusing Risk.

Mind Kicked.

Body Ditched.

Nasty Hits.

Pressurised drifts.

On the skin.

Opening terrific.

Flesh Filth.

You deserve it.

You imperfect brick.

You fat quilt.

Burdened with food guilt.

Purge! till head your absolutely spins. 

Starve! till eyes can’t meet the mist.
5 – Blade Adjusts.

This ruckus.

Blade Adjusts.

Punch it! Bloody shit! Punch!!!

Blade Adjusts.

Dissolution Cut.

Blade Adjusts.

Wrenching gut.

Blade Adjusts.

Medicative Mud.

Blade Adjusts.

Horror thuds.

Blade Adjusts.

With parallels.
6 – He’s super stressed.

He’s super depressed.

Paranoia Press.

Dissociation progress.

Anxiously present.

Imaginary dependance. 

Delusional torments.

Filling up dead rodents.

Silent then suddenly violent.

Unknown enemy, unknown friend.

Can’t sit here, can’t stay patient.

Head-Horror-Horizon dent.

 

 

Aroused

It’s True.

Written By P.S.

Theme – Depression.

Anxiety.

Self harm.

Eating disorders.

Addiction.
(Trigger Warning)
1 – Everything Blacks – out.

Every contact is foul.

Don’t interact, with your mouth.

Destructively operating and everything shuts down.

Smack yourself against the crowd.

Of societal  nouns.

Of societal grounds.

Lowering standards of self doubts.

Again getting strong & loud.

Self Harmer temptedly aroused.
2 – It’s all about the blade must.

It’s all about the blade thrust.

It’s all about that relieving rush. 

It’s all about the deep burst.

It’s all about the guilt worst.

It’s all about the scenery of blood shrugs.

Every time cursed.

Every time rubbed.
3 – Binged and purged.

Weakening submerged.

Dissociative serves.

To body and nerves.

Strange voices heard.

They begin to learn.

Your weakest turn.

Making you burn.

Making you concerned.

Making you follow its instructions.

Vile junction.

Bile abruption.

Nauseous proportions.

Digestive food abortions.

Blacking out cautions.
4 – Helpless Cope.

Hopeless bowl.

Never been told.

How to hold?

This chokes.

This pokes.

Out of control.

But the most.

Illogically – logical, inner feeding host.

Vulnerably gropes.

Strong gripness and furious hold.

Blood cone.

Blood enroll.

Brain sold.

Cognitions torn.

Gun reload.

Trigger Rode.

Failure phone.

Of unnheard moans.
5 – Everything Blacks – out.

Every contact is foul.

Don’t interact, with your mouth.

Destructively operating and everything shuts down.

Smack yourself against the crowd.

Of societal  nouns.

Of societal grounds.

Lowering standards of self doubts.

Again getting strong & loud.

Self Harmer temptedly aroused.

Into The Wild By Erin Hunter.

Quiet

Mahadev 🙏 (S)

Quiet.
Written By P.S.
Theme – Depression.

Anxiety.

Addiction.

Self Harm.

Eating Disorders. 

Mental Health.

(Trigger Warning)

1 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired

Just quiet.

2 – Cinematic gleam.

Collapsed heaps.

Bleeding gently.

Bleeding everyday, every week.

Dirty deeds.

Dripping on feet.

Guilt regimes.

Painful screams.

Extraordinary scene.

Of suppressing, relief lean.

Depression clean.

Everything’s red but, the world is again green.

Quietly bring a team.

Bring your needs.

And fall down on your knees.

Bangs on self esteem.

Madness speaks.

Damn! How weak?

How are you so weak??

3 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired.

Just quiet.
4 – Trigger table.

Damaged cable.

Vicious enable.

No! Good night, later.

“Haha”, laughs of evil favor.

Nasty galaxy crater.

Supreme fader.

Hate irritator.

Impulse surrender.

Action mender.

Pleasure seductor. 

Guilt rupture.

Possessive structures.
5 – Black and white.
Just fight.

This height.

Misfunctional device.

Vehicle seat belt tight.

On a driving night.

Switch on your headlights.

This is gonna be a nasty ride.

And you might,

You might not even cry.

After its done absolutely right.

Flying like a kite.

Black and white.

Don’t worry! Chew and bite.
6 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired.

Just quiet.

Failed

…Smother Another Failure! Lay this to rest. Console yourself, you’re better alone. Destroy yourself, see who gives a fuck! Absorb yourself, you’re better Alone. Destroy yourself!!! (Laid To Rest By Lamb Of God)

Written By P.S.

Theme – Madness.

Depression.

Anxiety.

Self Harm.

Addiction.

Low self esteem.
(Trigger Warning/Explicit)
1 – Failed! Failed! Failed!

To exactly communicate.

Emotional rape.

Nauseous hate.

Toxic trade.

Blasting rate.

Of mind pain.

Of mind shame.

Loops obtained.

Weakened to faint.

Tainted paint.
2 – What have you done?

Can’t you just self destruct?

“You empty mug”.

“You empty cup”.

“You’ll fail trust!”.

“You fail and rust!”.

Like a useless junk.

Like a rotting dump.

Fun becomes.

Terrifying bumps. 

Lane jump.

Accidental numb.
3 – Fear unknown.

Something not told.

Last remaining remote.

How to hope?

How much cold.

When your soul is sold.

To evil evokes.

Failing to erode.

Speeding on a holes filled road.

Thoughts hold.

To a blade provoke.

And emotions mould.
4 – Anxious nights.

Petrified.

Immobilized.

Horrified.

Paralyzed.

How to describe?

Dimensional cries.

Help dies.

Guilt rise.

Sharp dice.

Pain alive.

A war void.

A war wide.

A shoot sight.

A lost fight.

Relieved mind.

Erasing time.

Disguised!

In A While.
5 – Failed! Failed! Failed!

To exactly communicate.

Emotional rape.

Nauseous hate.

Toxic trade.

Blasting rate.

Of mind pain.

Of mind shame.

Loops obtained.

Weakened to faint.

Tainted paint.

Upcoming…

So, have you had enough of my poetries???

The uncertainty remains.

As every time when it does I surely remember to write, it’s been one of my rock pillars to help me personally. Upcoming posts will be a series of new work featuring everything from the voices, to the ideation,  variations and most importantly wordplay. Which has been certainly the pattern from the starting of my writings. 

Manvi Sharma (Psychologist)

Depth and gripness. 

Red Coloured Paint (I.A.P.G. Impulse, Action, Pleasure, Guilt)

Impulse (Noun)

A strong and unreflective urge or desire to act.

Action (Noun)

The fact or process of doing something; typically to achieve an Aim.

Pleasure (Noun)

A feeling of happy satisfaction or  enjoyment.

Guilt (Noun)

The fact of having committed something wrong or have implied failure, offence or crime.

Credits: SATI_TheMystique.

Red Coloured Paint (I.A.P.G)
1 – Where will you go?

How will you cope?

When there’s just a fan and a sight of a rope.

And it turns to only one of your remaining last hope.

You start writing suicide notes.

In guilt, when the pain is more.

Earlier than before.
2 – What will you ask for?

Fucking end it all.

With a final call.

A call to make you shock.

A shock to make you knock.

A knock to make you empty like a rock.

An empty rock to make you small.

So small to make you end the pain cause.

A pain cause to build your walls.

With those walls, your mind mauls.

Bloody body is hauled.

Depression knot.

Anxiety clot.

Self harm mock.

Insomniac brawl.
3 – How will you stop?

How will you solve?

How ill, will you fall?

Ravaging dissolve.

Impulse – A Loop, a ball.

A vicious weavement of thoughts.

An Agent Of Chaos.

Action – An arousing pod.

Pleasure – A seductive boss.

Guilt – The splash of the sauce.

Drip – drip.

A releived grin.

Across my chin.

Just lose it.

And stains fill.

Blood on my nail prints.

This man who’s accusative.

Shine of the sedative, palliative.

Mind repetitive.

Screaming,”rule of 10 hits.

You fat bitch!!!

Why did you ingested?”.
Old nightmares haunts with a butcher’s knife.

A rope appearing nearer and nearer with that dreadful smile.

I might kill myself tonight.

Because nothings alright.

So I’ll become the sacrifice.

Modified,

To vice.
4 – It’s no more a game.

When scars begin to fade.

The urges make you vulnerable in shame.

Night time makes,

To lose my shades.

A tool innate.

A tool intricate.

Chugging down liquor generates. 

Unlimited wage.

Of severe self hate.

Precision of my mistakes.

Played, replayed.

Mind Slaved.

Human brain.

Impulse – You can’t wait.

Action – Objection is sustained.

Pleasure – Draining the pain.

Guilt – And the devil rapes.

Time to time, again and again.

Until he mutilates. 

Until I suffocate.

In a RED COLOURED PAINT.
5 – In depth.

My blade lies beside my bed.

A bleeding fest.

Cheek bones bruised red.

From rapid punching of myself.

Only exhaustion left.

Something begins to fade my present.

From the torment.

As many, and when I make more dents.

On my ugly flesh.

Borderline refreshed.

Necessary evil exponent.

Impulse – Self Harm Savage.

Mental Mallet.

Action – Depression Valid.

Tool – kit, Solid.

Pleasure – Annihilation Jotted.

Areas Spotted.

Guilt – Emotions Distraughted.

Visions Distorted.

RED PAINT KNOWLEDGE.

Written By P.S