Aroused

It’s True.

Written By P.S.

Theme – Depression.

Anxiety.

Self harm.

Eating disorders.

Addiction.
(Trigger Warning)
1 – Everything Blacks – out.

Every contact is foul.

Don’t interact, with your mouth.

Destructively operating and everything shuts down.

Smack yourself against the crowd.

Of societal  nouns.

Of societal grounds.

Lowering standards of self doubts.

Again getting strong & loud.

Self Harmer temptedly aroused.
2 – It’s all about the blade must.

It’s all about the blade thrust.

It’s all about that relieving rush. 

It’s all about the deep burst.

It’s all about the guilt worst.

It’s all about the scenery of blood shrugs.

Every time cursed.

Every time rubbed.
3 – Binged and purged.

Weakening submerged.

Dissociative serves.

To body and nerves.

Strange voices heard.

They begin to learn.

Your weakest turn.

Making you burn.

Making you concerned.

Making you follow its instructions.

Vile junction.

Bile abruption.

Nauseous proportions.

Digestive food abortions.

Blacking out cautions.
4 – Helpless Cope.

Hopeless bowl.

Never been told.

How to hold?

This chokes.

This pokes.

Out of control.

But the most.

Illogically – logical, inner feeding host.

Vulnerably gropes.

Strong gripness and furious hold.

Blood cone.

Blood enroll.

Brain sold.

Cognitions torn.

Gun reload.

Trigger Rode.

Failure phone.

Of unnheard moans.
5 – Everything Blacks – out.

Every contact is foul.

Don’t interact, with your mouth.

Destructively operating and everything shuts down.

Smack yourself against the crowd.

Of societal  nouns.

Of societal grounds.

Lowering standards of self doubts.

Again getting strong & loud.

Self Harmer temptedly aroused.

Into The Wild By Erin Hunter.
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Quiet

Mahadev 🙏 (S)

Quiet.
Written By P.S.
Theme – Depression.

Anxiety.

Addiction.

Self Harm.

Eating Disorders. 

Mental Health.

(Trigger Warning)

1 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired

Just quiet.

2 – Cinematic gleam.

Collapsed heaps.

Bleeding gently.

Bleeding everyday, every week.

Dirty deeds.

Dripping on feet.

Guilt regimes.

Painful screams.

Extraordinary scene.

Of suppressing, relief lean.

Depression clean.

Everything’s red but, the world is again green.

Quietly bring a team.

Bring your needs.

And fall down on your knees.

Bangs on self esteem.

Madness speaks.

Damn! How weak?

How are you so weak??

3 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired.

Just quiet.
4 – Trigger table.

Damaged cable.

Vicious enable.

No! Good night, later.

“Haha”, laughs of evil favor.

Nasty galaxy crater.

Supreme fader.

Hate irritator.

Impulse surrender.

Action mender.

Pleasure seductor. 

Guilt rupture.

Possessive structures.
5 – Black and white.
Just fight.

This height.

Misfunctional device.

Vehicle seat belt tight.

On a driving night.

Switch on your headlights.

This is gonna be a nasty ride.

And you might,

You might not even cry.

After its done absolutely right.

Flying like a kite.

Black and white.

Don’t worry! Chew and bite.
6 – Riot.

Tired.

Anxiety liar.

Insomnia fire.

Blade desire.

Urges higher.

Urges hired.

Blood drier.

Abnoxious surveilled diets.

Everything remains quiet.

Just tired.

Just quiet.

Red Coloured Paint (I.A.P.G. Impulse, Action, Pleasure, Guilt)

Impulse (Noun)

A strong and unreflective urge or desire to act.

Action (Noun)

The fact or process of doing something; typically to achieve an Aim.

Pleasure (Noun)

A feeling of happy satisfaction or  enjoyment.

Guilt (Noun)

The fact of having committed something wrong or have implied failure, offence or crime.

Credits: SATI_TheMystique.

Red Coloured Paint (I.A.P.G)
1 – Where will you go?

How will you cope?

When there’s just a fan and a sight of a rope.

And it turns to only one of your remaining last hope.

You start writing suicide notes.

In guilt, when the pain is more.

Earlier than before.
2 – What will you ask for?

Fucking end it all.

With a final call.

A call to make you shock.

A shock to make you knock.

A knock to make you empty like a rock.

An empty rock to make you small.

So small to make you end the pain cause.

A pain cause to build your walls.

With those walls, your mind mauls.

Bloody body is hauled.

Depression knot.

Anxiety clot.

Self harm mock.

Insomniac brawl.
3 – How will you stop?

How will you solve?

How ill, will you fall?

Ravaging dissolve.

Impulse – A Loop, a ball.

A vicious weavement of thoughts.

An Agent Of Chaos.

Action – An arousing pod.

Pleasure – A seductive boss.

Guilt – The splash of the sauce.

Drip – drip.

A releived grin.

Across my chin.

Just lose it.

And stains fill.

Blood on my nail prints.

This man who’s accusative.

Shine of the sedative, palliative.

Mind repetitive.

Screaming,”rule of 10 hits.

You fat bitch!!!

Why did you ingested?”.
Old nightmares haunts with a butcher’s knife.

A rope appearing nearer and nearer with that dreadful smile.

I might kill myself tonight.

Because nothings alright.

So I’ll become the sacrifice.

Modified,

To vice.
4 – It’s no more a game.

When scars begin to fade.

The urges make you vulnerable in shame.

Night time makes,

To lose my shades.

A tool innate.

A tool intricate.

Chugging down liquor generates. 

Unlimited wage.

Of severe self hate.

Precision of my mistakes.

Played, replayed.

Mind Slaved.

Human brain.

Impulse – You can’t wait.

Action – Objection is sustained.

Pleasure – Draining the pain.

Guilt – And the devil rapes.

Time to time, again and again.

Until he mutilates. 

Until I suffocate.

In a RED COLOURED PAINT.
5 – In depth.

My blade lies beside my bed.

A bleeding fest.

Cheek bones bruised red.

From rapid punching of myself.

Only exhaustion left.

Something begins to fade my present.

From the torment.

As many, and when I make more dents.

On my ugly flesh.

Borderline refreshed.

Necessary evil exponent.

Impulse – Self Harm Savage.

Mental Mallet.

Action – Depression Valid.

Tool – kit, Solid.

Pleasure – Annihilation Jotted.

Areas Spotted.

Guilt – Emotions Distraughted.

Visions Distorted.

RED PAINT KNOWLEDGE.

Written By P.S

Out Of My League

I am a reject. And that’s why I’m an addict as well. Gotta stay high to keep you off my mind. (SATI_TheMistique)
Sati can save me or she can destroy me. It’s totally upto her.

1 – Like an object.

Deny the presence.

Bitterly tremendous.

Internalized derailment.

Agonized & tormented.

Disassociative measurements.

Isolatory dominance.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.
3 – I am potentially toxic.

Helplessly fought it.

Still it’s a vicious fix.

Tolerating the hits.

Fading the nasty bits.

I am too ugly & shame filled.

I can’t be fit.

So let me quit.

Wasted drifts.

Landing intensive.

Slow but pervasive.

Isolative.

Hyperly destructive.

Repetitive.
4 – Pop up your meds.

Quite the opposite instead.

Blur & numb.

Probably feeling dumb.

Battles become,

A sticky gum.

Running out of luck.
5 – Fright rate.

Immensely paced.

Tolerate.

This hate.

But can’t wait.

Because it’s now bursting in flames.

In severe rage.

Profound permanent mistake.

Blood on nails.

Pain erase.

Weight gain.

Eating shame.

Mind equates.

Brutal hails.

Monsters made.

Brain opiate.

But still functioning to terminate.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.

6 – Futile.

Reptile.

Terrified.

Losing every fight.

Blades occupy.

To decide.

Depth of the pile.

Boiling & bubbling inside.

Craving it to stay alive.

Lost sight.

Mortified.

Pressuring shine.

Piercing the eyes.

Seduction rise.

Begin the ride.

Individualized.

Secretly, quietly, contain the size.

Put on your mask of disguise.

And say this to you, leave me blind.

Like a broken string of a kite.

Written by P.S 

In A While…

ADDICTIONS & CRAVINGS

Pick .

Tricked.

Against skin.

Words fail.

Dying days.

Confused & Dazed.

Meds, take.

But still not okay.
These thoughts.

Appear rocks.

Air to hit across.

Anxiously fought.

Why? Self harm?

Cuze I’m losing apart.

These feelings of emptiness lasts.

Addicted? Or self destructive?

No choices.

Provoking voices.
Party hard.

With blade marks.

Cut deep & sharp.

Deal the dark.

Relapse fast.

Don’t Ask.

It’s undescibed.

Uncategorised.

unrecognized.

unidentified.

Terrified.

Wounded inside.

Lost sight.

Messy right???

Absolutely fine.
In a while…

Surrendering Lines.

Time binds.

Left behind.

Can’t recognise.

Pain to feel alive.

Somethings not right.

Tell me it’s gonna be alright.

But I’m not sure what I.

Will do tonight.

I’ve already planned to hide.