In Surveillance 

MIND

1 – When logicals fail.
You start with hate.

Because the breach has been made.
Isolatory escape.
Boiling above to rape.
Mind starts to contemplate.
Negotiates.
Trades.
With something which can’t be erased.
Neither it can be tamed.
It waits.
Then strikes again.

2 – Why won’t you let me eat?
Because you’re too heavy.
Already breached.
The territory.
Worthless freak.
In surveillance.
Situational maintainence.
Bitterly tormented.
Mind perverted.

3 – Insane…
In pain.
Insane…
From pain.
Insane…
Mundane.
Insane…
Are you even worthy to save?
Insane…
Suicidal craves.
Insane…
Closely surveilled.
Insane…
Blood cascades.
Insane & frail.

4 – Hit me as hard as you can.
Kick me, spit on me and break my hands.
Body dragged.
Head smashed.
Collar grabbed.
Punching mad.
Swollen bad.
Bite yourself when you feel trapt,
Ambiguous reflections convincing the mad.

5 – News reached.
Cold heat.
Knees weak.
Heart in misery.
Physically bleak.
Tears held back disgustingly.
Silent screams.
Dreadfully. Mentally. Astonishingly.
Manipulated me.
But I’ll gently…
CHEAT.
Act in to eliminate that feel.
I trusted you and you successfully,
Managed to make me bleed.
Smashing my body.
Against the walls, concrete.
I’ll stay hidden and never reveal.
Now what’s even the point of recovery?
It’s unhealthy…
Hate breeds.
Disorderly.
Failed therapy.
I surely…
Will now never trust anybody.

2 – In surveillance.
Situational maintainence.
Bitterly tormented.
Mind perverted.

Written By P.S.

Out Of My League

1 – Like an object.

Deny the presence.

Bitterly tremendous.

Internalized derailment.

Agonized & tormented.

Dissociative measurements.

Isolatory dominance.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.
3 – I am potentially toxic.

Helplessly fought it.

Still it’s a vicious fix.

Tolerating the hits.

Fading the nasty bits.

I am too ugly & shame filled.

I can’t be fit.

So let me quit.

Wasted drifts.

Landing intensive.

Slow but pervasive.

Isolative.

Hyperly destructive.

Repetitive.
4 – Pop up your meds.

Quite the opposite instead.

Blur & numb.

Probably feeling dumb.

Battles become,

A sticky gum.

Running out of luck.
5 – Fright rate.

Immensely paced.

Tolerate.

This hate.

But can’t wait.

Because it’s now bursting in flames.

In severe rage.

Profound permanent mistake.

Blood on nails.

Pain erase.

Weight gain.

Eating shame.

Mind equates.

Brutal hails.

Monsters made.

Brain opiate.

But still functioning to terminate.
2 – Hate me.

Because you’re out of my league.

Ripping my skin presently.

Reject your greed.

Unexpected needs.

Down on my knees.

But you’re out of my league.

So hate me.

Hate me now, please.

Because you’re out of my league.

6 – Futile.

Reptile.

Terrified.

Losing every fight.

Blades occupy.

To decide.

Depth of the pile.

Boiling & bubbling inside.

Craving it to stay alive.

Lost sight.

Mortified.

Pressuring shine.

Piercing the eyes.

Seduction rise.

Begin the ride.

Individualized.

Secretly quietly contain the size.

Put on your mask of disguise.

And say this to you, leave me blind.

Like a broken string of a kite.

Written by P.S 

Wide Eyes Open

Heath Ledger Quote (The Psychopath Joker). R.I.P Legend.

Dreams or nightmares.

Cold feet frightfully shapes.

Anxiety on top and at the base.

3 am phase.

Scaring away.

Thoughts to generate. 

Negative blames. 

In my name. 

Suicidal mind framed. 

Insomniac rate. 

Higher again. 

 

Wide eyes open. 

Surrounded by dark motions. 

Numb and frozen. 

Paralayzed in my bed woken. 

My will slowly broken.

Loud mind breaking emotions. 

 

Maybe the razor will put an end. 

These thoughts that I can’t defend. 

I want relief, please help! 

Failed functionality of antidepressants.

Poisoning my mind like a powerful venom. 

Hate begins to beat me; swollen.

Afraid from my own friends. 

As the demons denies me from them.

Remaining lonely without acceptance.

 

Whom should I tell?? 

Manifested mind yells. 

Remain inside your shell. 

Don’t ring up anyone’s bell. 

You’re not well. 

You won’t find peace inside this hell.

So don’t let. 

Anyone to enter your cell. 

Or else.

You will be a burden to them. 

You don’t deserve to excel. 

You’re a just a waste that fell. 

Out from nowhere to another shelf. 

 

Wide eyes open. 

Surrounded by dark motions. 

Numb and frozen. 

Paralayzed in my bed woken. 

My will slowly broken.

Loud mind breaking emotions. 

Written by P.S 

3 AM. Sleepless. Negative thoughts brainstorm.

 


 

 

Strive

I really am trying hard

 

One day I will, 

I surely will. 

Will promise to kill.

That inner city to nil. 

To be filled.  

That lives.

That forgives. 

 

I’m lost. 

In the stock. 

Sinner borned. 

But forgot. 

He is the shock. 

Shock that knocks. 

To the black door, their boss. 

Falls and falls. 

Stable not. 

Starting to walk. 

 

Living is easy. 

Remaining alive is freely.

Supposed to be. 

Totally empty. 

I know it gently. 

Across my axis, mentally. 

Crime killing deeds.

What do you need? 

A rope that feeds. 

The sweetish life out to feel.

Incomplete. 

Figuratively. 

No knots to deal. 

Precisely

Jumping out on the fields.

Brain Gym

 

How do we

Say how do we 

Suffer like those who live on the streets.

Shallow empty. 

Addictive junkie. 

Cutting bleeding. 

Pschopath hearing. 

Crash landing. 

Victim barking. 

Blade sharpening. 

Sticking it and laughing. 

Around the reality surrounding. 

Often patterning. 

Depressive jabbering. 

 

Nothing is perfect. 

To be honest. 

Just want calmness. 

Wasting helpless. 

Insides stay deaf. 

Emotions completely dead. 

Burglar fed. 

Thoughts inside the head. 

Screaming out loud madness.

Nothing is perfect. 

To be honest. 

 

 Sin sin what’s 

Within. 

Brain gym. 

anger wins. 

Blades in. 

Trouble is. 

Stuck stick. 

c’mon Bitch  

Make me feel shit. 

Against the shrink. 

Left within. 

Complicated rim. 

Anger wins.

Brain gym. 

 

 

Reality of 3am


Bound to begin.

Hands strengthen.

Relatively dependant.

Must repent.

Failures present.

Reality of 3am.
Clock clock.

Tick rock. 

Brain mocks.

Another shot.

Deeper fought.

Suicidal thoughts.

Relapsing fraud.

Another call.

Blades felt.

Like a nest.

Nightmares dreamt.

Reality of 3am.
Another day ends.

Blade friends.

Switch the pen.

Cutting dents.

Blood gem.

No need of help.

A secret shelf.

Where everythings hidden.

Nights begins.

About to end.

Reality of 3am.
3 months of recovery broken by relapse.

Reality ended for me so fast.

What all I took what all I had.

Reality of 3 am taken by chance.

Surrender your will to cast.

Open another wound & relapse.

Victimised to self pity that.

Sins to wear the hats.
Written by P.S 

Starring in those negative eyes 

Bloody battles (Oh no!!! my brand new jeans are ruined)

Hahaha paralyzed

Starring in those negative eyes. 

Walking over my side. 

Crossing lines; terrified. 

Bleep bleep. 

Locked inside. 

Starring in those negative eyes. 

Never seemed to be shy. 

Paralayzed. 

Walking in those horrified.

Tortured to lie. 

Helping to survive. 

Starring in those negative eyes. 

Waking up to die. 

Never realised. 

Terrified. 

Wounded back. 

Welcome back. 

Saw you have survived.

The shit. 

This shit.

Looping holes. 

No one told. 

Kept it was. 

No one’s boss. 

Addicted chaos. 

Leave it brought. 

Sincere sensitive call. 

Relapsed knots. 

User job. 

In addition forms. 

Destroy all.  

In this fall. 

Wound it across. 

Should have fought

Turn it into 

Brainy job. 

Maybe more. 

Drugs are cops. 

Results for your.

Own loss.

Let them lie.

Time to time. 

Every day

doing fine. 

Starring in those

negative eyes