Tag Archives: Substance Abuse

EAT (Enemy At Therapy)

Enemy Within.

No options.

Failed verifications.

In conclusion.

No questions.

Purging actions.

Bleeding preparations.
Lines of meth.

Self destructive test.

A confined measurement.

Absurdity fed.

Addictive threat.

Kill the help.

Of rehab shed.

Insanity progress.

Happiness theft.

Misery left.

Nothing felt.

Loneliness dealt.

Blades become best friends.

Oo don’t care about yourself.

 I hate me and my existence.

Shame won’t tolerate my presence.

I want to kill myself.
I can’t ever be loved.

Because I am too much.

I self destruct.

Cut my hands to feel numb.

I was played around with my trust.

Mind fucked.

Bad luck?

Absolutely rust.

Rage burst.

Ripping deep for fun.

Dimensions spun.

Crave is a wave of lust.

And you must.

Get it done.
Just for once tell me.

How many?

Benzodiazepine,

Would it take get me relieved.

Insanity feeds.

Mental disease.

Confidence depletes.

A rush when weak.

Felt when stomach is totally empty.

Critically.

Irregularity.

In variety.

It’s totally foul.

Hateful doubts.

Kilos of cocaine, nose drowned.

Black out.

Falling down.

On the ground.

Bleeding skin and dehydrated mouth.

Written by P.S ‘PATIENT Stan’

Fear And Loathing

The mind kills people when depression is on a full time job.

Losing all.

Slowly deform.

It’s your job.

To erase your cause.

Aggression faught.

Precisely called.

Self harm born.

Destructive thoughts.

Can’t control.

Mind vindictiveness propose.

Drag the blade, it’s the cure.

Fading anger, pain pure.

Silenced shore.

Dripping more.

Blood on the floor.

Lose control.

Closed doors.

Failing pattern.

Relapsing flattens.

Total motivation.

Starving purification.

Perverse addictions,

Slaughtering medications.

Anaesthetic sensation.

Survival negation.

An unfortunate situation.

Craving the sensation.

Failed distractions.

Mind distortion.

Fear & loathing progression.

Futile life destruction.

Written by P.S ‘PATIENT Stan’

Weak

Low self esteem comes in handy candy. You choose to loose.


Thin…thin…thin.
Occupied within.
Troubling skin.
Fat fucking limbs.
Despised will.
Mirror hit.Mood swing.

Outer fit.

Fuck it…just fuck it.

Vomit out.

Probably foul.

Achievement now.

Exhausted??? How???

Fatigue drowned.

Black outs.

Depressing mouth.

Mind profound.

On getting loud.

Ingesting doubts.
Weak.

Bleak.

WORLD; deal.

Adjust please.

Dying needs.

Blue neat.

Swallow gently.

Pain, feels.

Cutter

Downer.

Pathetic looser.

Abuser.

Shooter.

Suicidal.

Final.

Hide a,

Desire.

Destructively biased.

Disguise of fire.

Mask Admire.

Joker, dire.

Reality perspires.

Hate higher.

Cutting guider.

Much more, blinder.

Thin…might just…

Loose some.

But failed Trust.

So chose to self destruct.

Coward with drugs.

IN TO THIN..NIL TO NOTHING.
Written by P.S  (PATIENT Stan)

Dead With The Rest


I have friends.

That makes the best.

Singled out; alone fest.

A quiet nest.

An unknown bet.

Torn & shed.

Resolvement.

In severe depth.

With friends of confidence.

Trust them.

Fear reject.

Failure defect.

Still added.

Multiplicated

Overthinking faded.

Completely hopless.

Comforting friends.

Tried their best.
Still I feel so alone.

Alone & cold.

Miserable & unknown.

Dynamically broke.

Whatever you told.

Makes me know.

I’m not sure.

Wether you will leave.

Or push to put up with me.

I feel nothing.

Just hopelessly breathing.

I want to cut to feel something.

Or else I’ll be panicking.

I am hurting.

I am nothing.

I am a failure, at most of my things.

So give up on me.

And keep running.
Or else I’ll be rude.

I’ll shout the brutally true.

And then you will definitely choose.

The opposed view.

I was successful, in pushing you.
Stay away.

It’s better that way.

I am a mess, who doesn’t cooperates.

I’ll be fine today.

Tomorrow’s, nothingness will be the same.

I’ll feel ashamed.

Drinking my pain.

Alcoholic waste.

Imagining abandoning phase.

Degrade. Degrade.

Mind full of hate. 

Again & again.

Thoughts pile up the weight.

Pick up blade.

Feel the pain.

You deserve it; you are lame.

Entering the delirium state.

End the game.

Destined to your grave.

Helpless & hopeless fate.
Bleeding red.

What’s the best?

You are, killing yourself.

Maybe I’m possessed.

Totally obsessed.

Absolutely worthless.

No one to help.

Isolated but dealt.

Measured to get.

The thin targets.

Life to lifeless.

Applied madness.

Strict but careless.

Slow & emotionless.

Will to test.

Survival shed.

Failed instead.

Dead with the rest.

Written by P.S  (PATIENT Stan)

Wasted

1 – All pointed fingers.
Exclaiming out all of the failures.
Deluded by what’s actually real.
Misguided towards a fall with final fear.
An unplanned death, running near.
A veteran fighting a loosing fight.
In the the end, he also knows, he wouldn’t survive.
Instead of living in shame, it’s better to die.
Alcoholic dependancy & a depressing night.
A knot held in my hand, thinking about suicide.
Almost close to ending my own life.

2 –  A final decision made.
A fucked up mind again.
Slowly starts to generate.
Thoughts occupied with disgusting hate.
Degradation absolutely maintained.
Stay Obidient or else you’ll be slapped across the face.
With a blade, running deep across you’re arms, 90° Straight.
Bleeding Out, let’s  fucking wait.
Wait to fucking see, what all remains.

3 -A locked up cage.
My mind locks myself again.
All kinds of mechanics, completely failed.
A living body, slowly rotting away.
There’s absolutely nothing in this life, left to gain.
Possessed to obsess over; TERMINATE.
Evil stays.
Neither it fades.
Nor you could debate.
Evil mind in a possessed state.
Starting to take control to celebrate.
To kill it’s victim & erase his name.
Nagging continously to irritate.
Turning him miserably insane.

4 – A shotgun held too close.
Loosing all the necessary controls.
A lost soul.
All lost hopes.
Bam – Bam…Here the fucking trigger goes.
Face splattered, brain exploded, blood on the floor.
Bye – bye dear, lying there, absolutely cold.
A lost life & a sold soul.
Died with his choices, which no one would ever come to know.
A failed patient, that wasn’t able to cope.
Left all of it & instead chose.
A godamn black, closing door.
He got wasted just now, but died a very long – long time ago.

Written By :- P.S. (PATIENT Stan)

Precisely Despised

Multiply.
Recognise.
Pain hides.
Scars dry.
Unheard cry.
Numbing high.

You’re surely gonna find.
Not behind the dark side.
Deeper into the dispersed lines.
Where we all refuse & deny.
A pain to end or else panic mortifies.
All of the necessary senses to get high.
Numbed across a pressure; witnessed at hell’s heights.
Isolated Divides.
A demonic stimuli.
Ritualistic deluded guidelines.
Apparently found dead inside.
Despised visions, blurry sight.

Messed up chaos.
All battles lost.
Broken to deform.
All hopes certainly  gone.
Pick up the receiver, pick up the call
Not bitter but surely fine with nailing shots.
Failure & surely a pathetic lost cause.

A certain stage.
A mind cage.
An uncontrolled rage.
Closer to, feel the pain.
Let it out in filthy ways.
Chosen to stay.
Disgusted hate.
Digging a grave.
Changing phase.
Anger range.
Destructive flames.
Fitting frame.
Blindfolded under dark shade.

I don’t care about myself.
I don’t care about my hair.
I don’t care about my skin.
I don’t care about fucking anything.
Godamn it don’t you begin.
Pick me up to deal with everything.

Psyched in not being liked.
Anticipated to push away, from time to time.
Choosing terms to silently die.
All occupied.
Patterns justified.
Dumb fucking mind.
Mirrors. Lies.
Deeper across you may find.
Alienation to get left behind.
A state of control denied.
More than a mechanism, a screaming voice derived.
Precisely despised.
You are making me horrified.
Beat me up & testing my will to utilise and survive.
Corrupting inner conscience to fight.

Obstructing reality.
Blurry calligraphy.
Parallelly nasty.
Lost tragedy.
Fucked up naturally.
And ill mentally.
Will relapse gradually.
Or will suicide quickly.
As a result of feeling guilty.

Daddy dominates.
Mommy fixates.
On a total chaotic waste.
Desperate to operate.
Finding measures to an aid.
Just pretend you’re all fine, pretty much okay.
You know…., you’re own pain.
Destruction rage.
Closer to you’re own ways.
Depression cage.
Filthy shame.
Alcoholic days.
Abused again & again.
Hated myself with more details.
They say times will change.
But how can you say? Really how can you say.
When you’ve beared nothing, just saw a smiling face.
Took pleasures in betraying faith.
Closing eyes towards a world of pain.
Like a puppet, where I was being played.
Not even a field of my game.
Still I took the weight.
Learned from all of the mistakes.
Loved you purely without hate.
But you’re a monster who cannot obey.
Never will have. Never, till date.

Written By :- P.S. (PATIENT Stan)